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How to explain ADHD to grandparents who don't believe in it

Posted by ingrid_calm · 1 week ago · 33 replies · 578 views

My parents (my children's grandparents) have made it pretty clear they think ADHD is overdiagnosed, that kids just need more discipline, and that we're making excuses.

I've tried explaining. It hasn't landed.

I don't need them to become ADHD advocates. I just need them to stop undermining our strategies in front of the kids. Any advice?

4 replies

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clara_parent 1 week ago

We had one clear conversation where I said: you don't have to agree with us, but we need you to follow our approach when you're with the kids. Consistency is non-negotiable. That framing worked better than defending the diagnosis.

▲ 14

yuki_focus 1 week ago

I sent my father-in-law one short article — not a long one. And then said nothing. A few weeks later he brought it up and had clearly been thinking about it. Sometimes planting the seed and waiting works better than pushing.

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dev_adhd 1 week ago

My mother-in-law came around when she started spending more time with our son and saw firsthand how hard he was trying. Sometimes the argument is less effective than observation over time.

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omar_loops 1 week ago

I gave up trying to change the belief and focused on specific behaviors. 'Please don't tell him he just needs to try harder, because it makes the situation much harder for us later' is more actionable than asking them to update their entire worldview.

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How to explain ADHD to grandparents who don't believe in it

4 replies

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